Last Updated:
March 30th, 2026
Why your child may be drinking
If you’re facing the reality that your child may be drinking, the first thing most parents want to understand is how it happened. You’ve done your best to educate and keep them going down the ‘right’ path, yet alcohol has found its way into their life. The reality is that there are multiple factors that could be at play.
Take peer pressure as an example. During teenage years, fitting in feels like everything for your child and if other friends they look up to are drinking, it’s only natural for them to follow suit.
Mental health is also another factor that many disregard, especially as there’s a stereotypical view that children or teens aren’t life-experienced enough to develop a mental health condition. But this view couldn’t be further from the truth with anxiety and depression all more than possible in teen years.
These types of mood disorders can easily lead to the self medication of symptoms via alcohol.
Genetics is another factor that is largely overlooked, and in fact, research suggests that half of the risk for developing an alcohol addiction is linked to genetics.
Once you start to understand these influences, you can start to unpack the reasons for how your child got to this point.
Recognising the signs
You know your son or daughter better than anyone, which should be an advantage when it comes to spotting changes. The problem is that these changes can seep in bit by bit, and because you’re around them so much, you can end up adjusting to the new behaviour without realising you’re doing it.
You might also notice they’re more secretive about where they’ve been, or that a simple question about their evening gets met with a level of defensiveness that doesn’t match the situation.
On their own, each of these could be chalked up to normal teenage behaviour, but when they start appearing together, that’s when it’s worth paying closer attention.
What surprises a lot of parents is how early the exposure to alcohol actually begins. Data from the UK shows that 40% of pupils aged 11 to 15 have reported having an alcoholic drink, and in the US, over 750,000 young people aged 12 to 17 met the criteria for alcohol use disorder in a single year.
So, while it’s easy to think along the lines of “my son or daughter knows better”, these stats prove that extra precaution needs to be taken.
You might hear them joke about needing a drink to get through the week, and something about it doesn’t quite sit right.
It’s easy to brush these things off individually, and most parents do, but if that feeling keeps coming back, it’s worth trusting your instincts. You know your child, and if something feels like it’s changed, there’s usually a reason for that.
How can I start the conversation with my son or daughter?
This is the part that most parents put off for as long as possible, and it’s understandable as to why. You’re worried about how they’ll react or whether bringing it up will make things worse between you. But the longer that conversation gets delayed, the harder it usually becomes, and the more time alcohol has to settle further into their routine.
Below, we provide some tips on how you can start the conversation in the best way possible to help an alcoholic loved one:
A young person who feels heard is far more likely to keep that dialogue going than one who feels like they’re being lectured at.
When is professional help needed?
There comes a point where your love and presence, as important as they are, need professional backing behind them. If your son or daughter’s drinking is getting worse or if they’ve tried to cut down and haven’t been able to, those are clear signs that this has moved beyond what can be managed at home.
For children under 18, alcohol rehab options are more limited because most treatment centres work with adults. That said, your GP or a specialist service can still point you in the right direction, so a conversation with them is vital.
At Sanctuary Lodge, we offer a structured rehab treatment pathway that includes medically monitored alcohol detox, therapy, and aftercare planning. Our alcohol support programmes are designed around understanding each person as an individual, because what drives alcohol dependence is different for every person who comes through the door.
Taking the next step
Living with an alcoholic loved one is tough. If you’re worried about your son or daughter and you’re not sure where to turn, Sanctuary Lodge is here to help you make sense of your options. While Sanctuary Lodge itself provides treatment for adults, we are part of a wider network that includes services for younger individuals, including our Banbury Lodge site, which accepts those aged 16 and over.
Our team has extensive experience in guiding families to the right support. When you call, we’ll take the time to understand your situation, answer your questions, and offer clear, practical next steps tailored to your circumstances.
Contact us today for a chat about your next steps.
(Click here to see works cited)
- National Library of Medicine. (2022). Child and Adolescent Mental Health. In www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov. Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality (US). https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK587174/
- Tawa, E. A., Hall, S. D., & Lohoff, F. W. (2016). Overview of the genetics of alcohol use disorder. Alcohol and Alcoholism, 51(5), 507–514. https://doi.org/10.1093/alcalc/agw046
- Drinkaware. (2021). Alcohol consumption UK: Underage drinking. https://www.drinkaware.co.uk/research/alcohol-facts-and-data/alcohol-consumption-uk-underage-drinking
- National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. (2024). Alcohol use disorder (AUD) in the United States: Age groups and demographic characteristics. https://www.niaaa.nih.gov/alcohols-effects-health/alcohol-topics/alcohol-facts-and-statistics/alcohol-use-disorder-aud-united-states-age-groups-and-demographic-characteristics
